Breathless as we ran
against the pebbles and rocks
racing towards the beach
our bodies in the sand

Tireless as we walked
under the scorching sun
waiting for the bus to come
your arms as my shades

Fearless as we swam
in the turquoise ocean of my dreams
swaying with the waves
our laughter filled the air

Endless as we daydreamed
of the blissful life ahead
watching the sunset
your breath rhymes with mine




as we lost track of the time
and forgot the way home
the night had fallen
our days were numbered





Sobriety is such an illusion
Glorified and romanticised
Just like how sovereignty is a total bullshit
No King was ever sober enough
Swearing by their chastities
Only to lose the empires to a decoy

Bring in the humour!
I’d rather die from laughter
‘Cause the world has too many invisible rules
We’re too busy begging for scraps
Giving in to the Hunger
That comes at us day and night

I’ll stay awake and wake the Rooster
Before we all get too comfortable
Sleeping on the cold floor
Crouching like a fetus
‘Cause we only have our Mother and her mercy
to this undeserving world we live in

Berlariku dengan gontai
Payah kakiku ini
Larimu cepat sekali
“Tunggu aku!”, teriakku lirih
Kuseret kakiku tertatih-tatih
Peluhku deras di dahi
Aku mengernyit tipis
Perih pelupuk ini
Badai bersorak-sorai
Sahutku tak berarti
Tapi larimu seketika terhenti
Kau ulurkan tanganmu tuk ku gapai
Kutelan semua nyali
Jarak ini tak abadi
Kalaupun sampai mati
Janjiku sama sampai saat ini
Aku akan kembali
Ke tangan ini
Ke rumah ini


Aku akrab dengan gelapnya malam
yang suka berpura-pura bisu dan buta
menutup mata rapat-rapat dan diam seribu kata
tak tega membiarkan aku menanggung malu
yang suka berpura-pura kuat dan tegar
menutup mata rapat-rapat dan diam seribu kata

Tapi malam ini aku sudah berdamai
dengan takdir yang tak selalu baik
memaafkan mereka yang kusayang
tapi yang tak selalu sempurna
dan berjanji untuk tak berhenti percaya
bahwa ada yang Maha Baik dan Sempurna


Pizza Union, London
July 7, 2019


The sight of you carrying a bucket of white lilies almost brought tears to my eyes
I wanted to run to you and hug you
I wish I did, but I could not bring myself to do it
But you did
You never held back your feelings even when my nerves betrayed me

Just as when you told me to read the handwritten letter
I wanted to shout “YES! A THOUSAND TIMES YES!” right then and there so the whole world could hear me
I wish I did, but I could not bring myself to do it
But you knew
You always knew even when my words failed me

I will never forget that night
The night where I finally decided to take a leap of faith
The night where I finally let someone take my hand
And the night where I finally fell in love



Caravan, London
June 12, 2019


I remember when we had our first dinner
The butterflies in my stomach, the thoughtful belated birthday wishes and you wearing the denim jacket that I’ve now grown to love
We were surrounded by flocks of people but I could care less
The dimly-lit table made it so easy for me to shamelessly stare at you
who surprisingly did not shy away like the first time

That night I told you my deepest, darkest secrets
All the fears, all the ugly truths, all the invisible scars and all the burdens
that were honestly too much to bear alone

I searched your face for any sign of doubt
I wouldn’t have blamed you
I would’ve run away from myself if I could
But no, you did not go anywhere
You stayed with me until it was time to go home

The chilly wind blew mercilessly as we walked side by side under the rainy night sky
But all I could feel was warmth, radiating from your presence
And for the first time in forever, I knew I was ready to fall


Print Room Café, London
June 10, 2019


I remember our fateful meeting
The pouring rain, the bitter coffee and you sitting in front of me
We were not alone
But I caught myself staring at you longer than I should have

I was searching for your eyes
And though for some reason you would not look me in the eyes for more than a few seconds
I knew I saw a glimpse of something that I had been looking for so long
I left the room silently praying to God that it would not be the last time


I had never known love
It had always seemed like a privilege to me
A luxury that I had always been so afraid to want

‘Cause I know all too well
That love always comes at a price
And I had not known whether I could ever afford it

But then you came along so fearlessly
Tearing down the stone walls I had built so high
No one had ever had the courage to even come near it

I let you inside the dark cave where I had been hiding
The only thing I could never give to anyone
The only thing I could never live without

You took my hands and waited patiently
Letting me face my own fears and demons
That had me in the dark for so long

So that night, I set myself free
You made me want to believe that for once
I am too worthy of love