The Best of Both Worlds

From where I stood I saw
Houses made of steel
Surrounded by wire fences
Grass cold and barren

Streets empty and silent
Tiny footsteps haunting at night
The witch killed himself
And attended his own funeral

Concrete walls painted white
Vigilantes buried down under
Nothing left behind but names
And grieving mothers

Breaking news on repeat
The big guy on the screen looking mad
Swearing in four different languages
Giving us the middle finger

Escapees on the run
Chasing after discounted freedom
Abandoned on the store shelves
Among rotten crackers and canned sardines

Leaflets of a little girl went missing flooded the streets
People stopped searching
They knew it all too well
What’s once lost would never be found

But the view was different on the other side

An elderly couple looking out of the window
Safe in their mega mansion
Their grandsons on the trampoline
Every jump shaking the ceiling

The rich got richer by the second
Selling overpriced oxygen in some green tanks
Everything was commodified
Even the Capitalists never saw it coming

Nothing else mattered
Nobody listened to the music anymore
The cinemas were now haunted
By the ghosts of the past

From where I stood I saw
Two different worlds
Where I belonged to
Neither of them

How the Night Ended

The rain stopped London in its track
The lights turned up, blinding our eyes
The streets full of laughters and kisses
Floating in the crisp air

Our feet wandering aimlessly
Taking us to every corner in West End
Where nights seemed to never end
And nobody seemed to want to go home
Well, neither of us wanted to

So we kept making the wrong turns
Walking away from the busy Underground
Where the place was always too crowded
Always too fast, too furious
What’s the rush? We had all the time in the world

We slipped away when nobody was looking
Towards the empty Holborn streets
Where nobody could hear us talk endlessly
Making plans as if we would live forever
Leaving behind our footprints in the concrete sidewalks
That will stay there no matter how many years pass by

One more turn and we would pass by King’s Cross station
Where everyone was rushing to catch the train home
We, too, almost reached home
Dreading the last minutes because we did not want the night to end
Dragging our feet while walking hand in hand

The clock struck twelve as we arrived at the gate
Right when the night started to lose its magic
And so that was how the night ended
That was how our nights always ended
With you carrying me on your back
Carrying me home


Breathless as we ran
against the pebbles and rocks
racing towards the beach
our bodies in the sand

Tireless as we walked
under the scorching sun
waiting for the bus to come
your arms as my shades

Fearless as we swam
in the turquoise ocean of my dreams
swaying with the waves
our laughter filled the air

Endless as we daydreamed
of the blissful life ahead
watching the sunset
your breath rhymes with mine




as we lost track of the time
and forgot the way home
the night had fallen
our days were numbered





Sobriety is such an illusion
Glorified and romanticised
Just like how sovereignty is a total bullshit
No King was ever sober enough
Swearing by their chastities
Only to lose the empires to a decoy

Bring in the humour!
I’d rather die from laughter
‘Cause the world has too many invisible rules
We’re too busy begging for scraps
Giving in to the Hunger
That comes at us day and night

I’ll stay awake and wake the Rooster
Before we all get too comfortable
Sleeping on the cold floor
Crouching like a fetus
‘Cause we only have our Mother and her mercy
to this undeserving world we live in

Berlariku dengan gontai
Payah kakiku ini
Larimu cepat sekali
“Tunggu aku!”, teriakku lirih
Kuseret kakiku tertatih-tatih
Peluhku deras di dahi
Aku mengernyit tipis
Perih pelupuk ini
Badai bersorak-sorai
Sahutku tak berarti
Tapi larimu seketika terhenti
Kau ulurkan tanganmu tuk ku gapai
Kutelan semua nyali
Jarak ini tak abadi
Kalaupun sampai mati
Janjiku sama sampai saat ini
Aku akan kembali
Ke tangan ini
Ke rumah ini


Aku akrab dengan gelapnya malam
yang suka berpura-pura bisu dan buta
menutup mata rapat-rapat dan diam seribu kata
tak tega membiarkan aku menanggung malu
yang suka berpura-pura kuat dan tegar
menutup mata rapat-rapat dan diam seribu kata

Tapi malam ini aku sudah berdamai
dengan takdir yang tak selalu baik
memaafkan mereka yang kusayang
tapi yang tak selalu sempurna
dan berjanji untuk tak berhenti percaya
bahwa ada yang Maha Baik dan Sempurna


Pizza Union, London
July 7, 2019


The sight of you carrying a bucket of white lilies almost brought tears to my eyes
I wanted to run to you and hug you
I wish I did, but I could not bring myself to do it
But you did
You never held back your feelings even when my nerves betrayed me

Just as when you told me to read the handwritten letter
I wanted to shout “YES! A THOUSAND TIMES YES!” right then and there so the whole world could hear me
I wish I did, but I could not bring myself to do it
But you knew
You always knew even when my words failed me

I will never forget that night
The night where I finally decided to take a leap of faith
The night where I finally let someone take my hand
And the night where I finally fell in love



Caravan, London
June 12, 2019


I remember when we had our first dinner
The butterflies in my stomach, the thoughtful belated birthday wishes and you wearing the denim jacket that I’ve now grown to love
We were surrounded by flocks of people but I could care less
The dimly-lit table made it so easy for me to shamelessly stare at you
who surprisingly did not shy away like the first time

That night I told you my deepest, darkest secrets
All the fears, all the ugly truths, all the invisible scars and all the burdens
that were honestly too much to bear alone

I searched your face for any sign of doubt
I wouldn’t have blamed you
I would’ve run away from myself if I could
But no, you did not go anywhere
You stayed with me until it was time to go home

The chilly wind blew mercilessly as we walked side by side under the rainy night sky
But all I could feel was warmth, radiating from your presence
And for the first time in forever, I knew I was ready to fall